Posts
Sometimes the City empowers me.
Makes me feel alive. Gives me a world that is diverse and serendipitous. A world that worships all things kinetic—that thrives off a constant energy and movement. The buildings in the sky, images reflected in the windows, the bright lights at night, the wide sidewalks, the passing cars and honking horns, the flashy downtown scene. Even the dirty city pigeons, their flapping wings and morning coo.
It makes me feel like I am part of something. And like I know the people.
My ears are filled with their voices—from the subway, to the street, to the coffee shop, to the café for lunch. I hear them on every corner, in every building. The pavement echoes their steps and conversations. We are not strangers, but exist in the same concrete elements of the City. There is no alone. There is no static. There is no pause. Never an hour that is still. And the commotion—I will always find, my loyal company.
But sometimes reflection evaporates; my thoughts become part of a white noise.
And then the City oppresses me.
Makes me feel disorientated. I get lost in that pandemonium and chaotic rhythm. My senses are numbed. Nothing comes through. Only a constant buzz of incoherent commotion. Sometimes I stop. Wherever I am. And I look around. I don’t know anyone. Nobody notices me. Nobody hears me. I am not sure what to listen for.
But today, I heard something. A tall figure came and stood next to me at the subway. He asked, “Did you hear that?” And I asked, “What?” He answered back, “That cricket.” “What; how can you hear that?” I asked. And he stated, “Because I chose to.”
I rolled my eyes. The City is filled with crazies too. I got on the Blue Line; the doors closed with a suction of air.
But did he really hear some damn cricket? As I stepped out into the morning city, in a moment of epiphany as my face felt the sunlight, I decided that he had spoken a truth.
Amidst all the noise of this place, within the limitations of our freedom and the boundaries of our life, in each day, there still exists that deliberation.
To some degree, deliberation about where to go, who to know, and what to hear, to see, to say, to do, to be…
Life is deliberation.
And that is another reason why I am in love with the City. Sometimes it makes me stop and think. Even if only for a brief moment. And I feel like I get it. Before the synthetic and artificial world continues to collapse and pursues its consumption.
