“The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful.” ~E.E. Cummings
Rain—its gentle and fierce sound, its dusty smell, its boundless power, its necessity to life. It reminds me how sensual our world is. No other element can put me in such a state of reverie, pondering the textures of life.
There are two seasons in Guatemala: winters of rain and summers of drought. It’s winter, the mornings sunny, and the afternoon rains falling until November. And though I love the carefree and mellow sun, it’s the pensive and musing rain that makes me feel most akin to Nature.
Guatemala means “land of trees.” There could be no truer name. An emerald land, everything is green. GREEN! Dense with this iridescent shade, how the rain intensifies it all. The glistening beads of dew never really leave; the slimy moss never dries. Its winter earth is soft, damp and lush; so precious, wild, and unruly. It’s something sensual.
A rooster crows nearby. Particles of dust orbit in rays of gray sunlight. Tweeting birds hop thunderously on the echoing roof. Rainwater from the gutters splashes to the muddy ground. I know it’s still early, probably just before six o’clock, because there is no traffic to be heard and the barking dogs are yet silent. Rains from Hurricane Matthew, which hit Honduras last night, have now arrived in Guatemala. The weekend forecast is rain.
Perhaps I needed a reason to stay inside. Time to reflect and to write. But where to begin? With colorful and poetic descriptions of the land and people here, I do not mean to breeze over the difficult realities of this place. Poverty and corruption haunt these highlands. It is a laborious life. For many, it is a monotonous, immobile existence—they are bound by poverty. But the deeper questions and thoughts I have of this place are still too overwhelming to publicly confront. But an objective, vivid description of this place, right now I could more easily continue…
San Lucas lives on the edge of Lake Atitlan, in the shadow of two volcanoes. Steep, daunting, and creating a sense of awe, Volcán Atitlan and Volcán Tolimán. They are symbolic of the antiquity, beauty, and lingering danger of this place.
Like bloody claw marks scratched down the volcanoes’ southern sides, tracks of red soil and fallen trees are an eerie reminder of the violent rains and brutal mudslides. These wounds are still fresh—San Lucas still hurting—from the devastation of Hurricane Agatha that hit Guatemala’s Pacific side in late May. San Lucas suffered greatly: ten dead, hundreds of homes destroyed, roads demolished…and in a place as impoverished as this, possibly decades of development washed away.
As the morning fog drifts over the lake, a bright blue paints the morning sky. This clearing of mist and shade, and the unhindered sun, seems to illustrate the hope of this place and the vibrant faith of these people. Like the bold colors of their traditional Maya clothing, valiantly and conspicuously they wear their beliefs on their sleeves. Faith is thread throughout, powerfully manifesting itself in the daily lives of the locals.
Nearing eight o’clock, the main drag is breathing and bustling with the morning’s clamor and commotion. The cobbled streets are narrow, and lined with faded, mud-bottom buildings, with no grassy spaces in-between. Rattling pick-ups, in route to the fields with twenty-or-so campesinos hanging on in back, zigzag through the people and kiosks. If walking in the streets, for safety reasons and preventative decapitation measures, keep your arms tucked in, and your head tilted towards the buildings. Tuc-tuc’s (rickshaw-like, but motorized, taxis) honk and speed by. Club-like music blares from any speakers available: in shops, from cars, tuc-tuc’s, pick-ups, cell-phones, and headphones. This place is loud and echoing.
The market is crowded, fresh produce, spices, newspapers, and necessities for sale. Vendors sell breakfasts of black beans, bread, and fried plantains. Sickly stray dogs lounge in the sun and fight over scraps. Watch your step! Fresh droppings (“caca”) from the dogs (“chuchos”) litter the streets. Garbage scraps stick to the damp ground and moldy sidewalks.
In San Lucas, few men wear traditional clothing, but rather jeans and a t-shirt or polo, sometimes with a sombrero. However, the majority of the women wear the traditional clothing, the “traje”: a huipil and a corte (colorfully hand-woven shirt and skirt), held up by a faja (belt or sash). With her weavings and other traditional roles, the woman is believed to be the keeper of the Mayan Culture.
A baby is held on a woman’s back with a scarf tied over her chest. She holds the hand of a younger child, a shopping basket in her other hand, and a basket balanced on her head. She walks with strength and grace. The day has begun. The streets are filled with people; everybody is moving. In the town center, the color and life of these people—their sepia and amber skin, bright and detailed clothing, animated conversations, and good-natured, playful bargaining—create a spirited and rich social space.
Down the street, to the north, is Lake Atitlan. Though the runoff from surrounding pueblos is dangerously polluting the water and endangering its ecosystem, it’s still acclaimed one of the most beautiful lakes in the world. With the clearing of the morning haze, the vast waters become a clear sapphire, its ripples winking at you as they glimmer beneath the sun.
The mountain air is mild, warm and breathable. Into the early afternoon, the sun dries the farmland and laundry, and warms our faces and spirits. Then suddenly and predictably, a chilling breeze finds your neck and arms. Wispy clouds become dark and heavy, the sky ominous. The earlier crowded streets are now silent.
And the rain falls. And falls. Cascading from the sky. How deafening it is! In cycles it lets up and gets stronger. Two to three hours pass by before it becomes a stagnant mist. Now evening, life in the streets begins again.
Dusk setting, the mountains are distant dark masses. Their peaks are not rocky, but thick with bush. A scene I’ve never seen, trees silhouetted at the very top of the mountains. Nightly clouds hide the stars, but Jupiter burns brightly, floating between the two looming volcanoes. The shouts and noise of night rising, San Lucas is yet to be awake until the first hours of tomorrow. But unfortunately, with nightfall lingers danger, and I have to say, “Good night.”
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Sunday, September 26, 2010
Guatemala: I Confess
http://www.sanlucasmission.org/
A person who stays a week here could write a book; a person who stays a month might write a chapter; and a person who stays a year wouldn’t know where to begin.
Does that make sense? If not, read it again.
If so, then this thought leads to my first confession: I will not even come close to seeing the reality of Guatemala. As soon as I arrived to San Lucas, I began to feel the presence of this looming fact. It is frustrating not to be able to understand…but maybe at least something to know that I won’t. But I want to try my best while I am here. And with accurate words, I hope to share with you my observations, and what I learn.
Now to my second confession: My words will not be a truly authentic and accurate telling of this place. Not on purpose though! Of course, I will try my best to share the truth of this place—its beauty and its sadness, its strengths and its weaknesses. But I am not from here, and for this I will fail in many ways. This country is one with a shadowy past, and one, where even in the present day, it’s still difficult to find the truth. The complexities of the people, cultures, politics, and history are beyond me. I am an outsider, naïve and ignorant, and I will surely make unknown mistakes in what I write and say.
But with such confessions, that’s not to say that my time here is wasted. Even if the profundity of Guatemala is beyond me, at the very least, my time here is an introduction. Though it is a mere one. Nonetheless, may it be a step towards understanding another way, our commonalities and our differences.
At the moment, I am hesitant of where to begin. What stories and thoughts do I share? I have only been here a short while, but (if it makes sense to say so) I feel so much already…and my mind is clouded with many thoughts and questions. But I think it would be better if I were to settle with this commotion a bit more, before I begin to share any further impressions of this place.
Please know it is with good intentions that I mean to share these perspectives and observations. But also, please forgive me for my misperceptions and inaccuracies, and may they not be detrimental.
"Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be." ~Don Quixote
A person who stays a week here could write a book; a person who stays a month might write a chapter; and a person who stays a year wouldn’t know where to begin.
Does that make sense? If not, read it again.
If so, then this thought leads to my first confession: I will not even come close to seeing the reality of Guatemala. As soon as I arrived to San Lucas, I began to feel the presence of this looming fact. It is frustrating not to be able to understand…but maybe at least something to know that I won’t. But I want to try my best while I am here. And with accurate words, I hope to share with you my observations, and what I learn.
Now to my second confession: My words will not be a truly authentic and accurate telling of this place. Not on purpose though! Of course, I will try my best to share the truth of this place—its beauty and its sadness, its strengths and its weaknesses. But I am not from here, and for this I will fail in many ways. This country is one with a shadowy past, and one, where even in the present day, it’s still difficult to find the truth. The complexities of the people, cultures, politics, and history are beyond me. I am an outsider, naïve and ignorant, and I will surely make unknown mistakes in what I write and say.
But with such confessions, that’s not to say that my time here is wasted. Even if the profundity of Guatemala is beyond me, at the very least, my time here is an introduction. Though it is a mere one. Nonetheless, may it be a step towards understanding another way, our commonalities and our differences.
At the moment, I am hesitant of where to begin. What stories and thoughts do I share? I have only been here a short while, but (if it makes sense to say so) I feel so much already…and my mind is clouded with many thoughts and questions. But I think it would be better if I were to settle with this commotion a bit more, before I begin to share any further impressions of this place.
Please know it is with good intentions that I mean to share these perspectives and observations. But also, please forgive me for my misperceptions and inaccuracies, and may they not be detrimental.
"Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be." ~Don Quixote
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Family Farewells
Departure for Guatemala is in days. This is where I’ll be for three months: http://www.sanlucasmission.org/
These parting words are telling of what I most love about my family.
Kyle said it simple, “So, are you ready to get the fuck out of here?”
And if you know my twin, then you know that Kyle sounded more like this: “Sahw, ‘r ya ready ta ghet the fuck outta hehr?” He says this to me in his scratchy voice, as he’s wearing his Ray Ban’s, and driving the boat. That’s Kyle: simple, chillin’, in control, likes nice stuff, on-the-fly, and perhaps a little brooding. These are the things I love about Kyle. (Oh, and also the fact that if he actually reads this, he’ll probably roll his eyes at that last sentence…and yep, that makes me smile.)
Brother Reid. Humorous and a bit aloof, if the topic is serious, sad, or personal, he doesn’t like to talk about it too much or for too long. But an observer, he sees more than most. He’s insightful and lets people be. Funny, sensitive, and way laid back, his company is easy and always a good time. Reid is peaceful and kind, an easy person to be with and to love. Conversations with him are lighthearted, sarcastic, relaxed, and direct when need be.
He says to me, “Just get there. And be safe.”
My brother Ryan is a whole other story. He’s got his ideas and thoughts, and whatever you’ve got to say, well that can come later. That’s not to say he isn’t a good listener. He’s probably one of the best listeners I know. But he also believes he’s more often right than not, and because of that, he thinks he should be heard first. And you know what (though I wouldn’t be so quick to tell him this), as the parental older brother, he is indeed insightful, bright, and does have the wisdom and experience that usually makes him right. (But, shhh, don’t tell him I said that.)
So this is what Ryan says to me (and if you don’t infer this from the conversation, then let me tell you: he’s a bit protective of his “little” 23-year-old sister.)
Ryan: So where are you going?
Me: It’s an hour or so west of Guatemala City.
Ryan: You have to stay in Guatemala City one night by yourself? Did you know that’s a dangerous place? You have to know your surroundings. Have you been talking to the people there? Do you know what to bring? Do you have a cell phone?
Me: Yeah, I have—
Ryan interrupts me: I’ll tell you what you should do. You’re paying to go down there, tell them to book your hotel. They can at least do that. This isn’t some casual thing; you’re a girl traveling alone. That’s not safe. I’ll call them if they haven’t. Do you want me to call them? I’ll call them. They should have this shit organized.
Me: No, Ryan, don’t call—
Interrupted again, Ryan says: Do you know who you’re driving with out to the Mission? What the vehicle looks like? The person’s name? You should be asking them this. Do you want me to call them? I’ll call them.
Me: No, don’t, Ryan. Yeah, I have—
Ryan again: What do you have to protect yourself? You know, you’re going to stick out as a tall blonde. You have to be aware of who’s around you. Are you bringing Mace or something?
Me: Yeah, and a knife.
Ryan: What? A knife? You’ll probably hurt yourself with a knife. You have to be careful. Maybe just the Mace.
Me: OK.
And that’s how those kinds of conversations have to end with Ryan. Just say, “OK.” Just agree. Otherwise, it could go on and on. But his concern is his interest, is his love. And that’s what I love about Ryan, his: instincts to protect and to provide, smarts and negotiation skills, common sense, loyalty, and most of all…his sense of adventure. For in the end, I knew Ryan would say this:
“Arrrgh, Kel, you’re gonna have a good time; I think it will be good for you. It’s one of the most beautiful countries I’ve been to. Make sure you go to Lake Atitlan, Antigua, see the ruins…” And again he continues with his brotherly advice, and telling me what he thinks I should do.
Then Andrea (my sister-in-law), after patiently and intently listening to Ryan, (and knowing that I don’t need another “lecture”) says in her enthusiastic and compassionate manner: “It’s going to be amazing, Kelly! But be safe, okay. And send me e-mail’s when you can. We love you.”
And Holly (Reid’s girlfriend), a genuine and sensitive person (and another much welcomed sister amongst all the Horazdovsky brothers), has a way of making a person feel needed and included. Perhaps it’s vain to want to be missed, but I’m happy when she says to me: “Kelly, I’m going to miss you! I want to see you before you go, I love you.”
Driving in the car, my dad says to me with a sigh, “What am I going to do with you; now I have three months to worry about you.”
Then he and my uncle begin to discuss as if I’m not sitting in the backseat.
Dad: She could bring that bear Mace that she got in Montana last summer.
Me: Dad, that’s the size of a hairspray bottle, and I don’t know if it’s legal to use on people. Really this place is safe.
Dad: Who cares!
Uncle Bruce: She’ll probably want a smaller one though, easier to carry around. The knife’s not a bad idea.
Dad: (sigh)
Uncle Bruce: Why can’t she just get a Taser? Put some distance between her and the attacker.
Dad: (sigh)
Then the concerned words of my mother:
“You know Kelly, you don’t have to go. You can just stay home. Is this necessary? This seems so extreme. You’ve been traveling so much. I worry. You could just stay home. Why don’t you just stay home?”
The reasons I love my parents are infinite. Even the things that frustrate me about them, I know that I love, because without them they wouldn’t be who they are. But sometimes their worry gets overwhelming, and especially my mother, who gets a bit irrational. Daily, she’s been asking me a dozen questions, and telling me about all the bad dreams and thoughts she’s been having of “what could happen to me.” She worries as if I’m going into a war zone! But I’m not going into a war zone. The place I’m going is a relatively safe and stable community.
And I tell my mom, “I’m aware of the risks, and I’ll be safe. But I want to go. I’m just trying to see places and meet people, do something good, be changed, gain perspective. There’s nothing tying me down, I feel free; this is what I feel moved to do.
These parting words are telling of what I most love about my family.
Kyle said it simple, “So, are you ready to get the fuck out of here?”
And if you know my twin, then you know that Kyle sounded more like this: “Sahw, ‘r ya ready ta ghet the fuck outta hehr?” He says this to me in his scratchy voice, as he’s wearing his Ray Ban’s, and driving the boat. That’s Kyle: simple, chillin’, in control, likes nice stuff, on-the-fly, and perhaps a little brooding. These are the things I love about Kyle. (Oh, and also the fact that if he actually reads this, he’ll probably roll his eyes at that last sentence…and yep, that makes me smile.)
Brother Reid. Humorous and a bit aloof, if the topic is serious, sad, or personal, he doesn’t like to talk about it too much or for too long. But an observer, he sees more than most. He’s insightful and lets people be. Funny, sensitive, and way laid back, his company is easy and always a good time. Reid is peaceful and kind, an easy person to be with and to love. Conversations with him are lighthearted, sarcastic, relaxed, and direct when need be.
He says to me, “Just get there. And be safe.”
My brother Ryan is a whole other story. He’s got his ideas and thoughts, and whatever you’ve got to say, well that can come later. That’s not to say he isn’t a good listener. He’s probably one of the best listeners I know. But he also believes he’s more often right than not, and because of that, he thinks he should be heard first. And you know what (though I wouldn’t be so quick to tell him this), as the parental older brother, he is indeed insightful, bright, and does have the wisdom and experience that usually makes him right. (But, shhh, don’t tell him I said that.)
So this is what Ryan says to me (and if you don’t infer this from the conversation, then let me tell you: he’s a bit protective of his “little” 23-year-old sister.)
Ryan: So where are you going?
Me: It’s an hour or so west of Guatemala City.
Ryan: You have to stay in Guatemala City one night by yourself? Did you know that’s a dangerous place? You have to know your surroundings. Have you been talking to the people there? Do you know what to bring? Do you have a cell phone?
Me: Yeah, I have—
Ryan interrupts me: I’ll tell you what you should do. You’re paying to go down there, tell them to book your hotel. They can at least do that. This isn’t some casual thing; you’re a girl traveling alone. That’s not safe. I’ll call them if they haven’t. Do you want me to call them? I’ll call them. They should have this shit organized.
Me: No, Ryan, don’t call—
Interrupted again, Ryan says: Do you know who you’re driving with out to the Mission? What the vehicle looks like? The person’s name? You should be asking them this. Do you want me to call them? I’ll call them.
Me: No, don’t, Ryan. Yeah, I have—
Ryan again: What do you have to protect yourself? You know, you’re going to stick out as a tall blonde. You have to be aware of who’s around you. Are you bringing Mace or something?
Me: Yeah, and a knife.
Ryan: What? A knife? You’ll probably hurt yourself with a knife. You have to be careful. Maybe just the Mace.
Me: OK.
And that’s how those kinds of conversations have to end with Ryan. Just say, “OK.” Just agree. Otherwise, it could go on and on. But his concern is his interest, is his love. And that’s what I love about Ryan, his: instincts to protect and to provide, smarts and negotiation skills, common sense, loyalty, and most of all…his sense of adventure. For in the end, I knew Ryan would say this:
“Arrrgh, Kel, you’re gonna have a good time; I think it will be good for you. It’s one of the most beautiful countries I’ve been to. Make sure you go to Lake Atitlan, Antigua, see the ruins…” And again he continues with his brotherly advice, and telling me what he thinks I should do.
Then Andrea (my sister-in-law), after patiently and intently listening to Ryan, (and knowing that I don’t need another “lecture”) says in her enthusiastic and compassionate manner: “It’s going to be amazing, Kelly! But be safe, okay. And send me e-mail’s when you can. We love you.”
And Holly (Reid’s girlfriend), a genuine and sensitive person (and another much welcomed sister amongst all the Horazdovsky brothers), has a way of making a person feel needed and included. Perhaps it’s vain to want to be missed, but I’m happy when she says to me: “Kelly, I’m going to miss you! I want to see you before you go, I love you.”
Driving in the car, my dad says to me with a sigh, “What am I going to do with you; now I have three months to worry about you.”
Then he and my uncle begin to discuss as if I’m not sitting in the backseat.
Dad: She could bring that bear Mace that she got in Montana last summer.
Me: Dad, that’s the size of a hairspray bottle, and I don’t know if it’s legal to use on people. Really this place is safe.
Dad: Who cares!
Uncle Bruce: She’ll probably want a smaller one though, easier to carry around. The knife’s not a bad idea.
Dad: (sigh)
Uncle Bruce: Why can’t she just get a Taser? Put some distance between her and the attacker.
Dad: (sigh)
Then the concerned words of my mother:
“You know Kelly, you don’t have to go. You can just stay home. Is this necessary? This seems so extreme. You’ve been traveling so much. I worry. You could just stay home. Why don’t you just stay home?”
The reasons I love my parents are infinite. Even the things that frustrate me about them, I know that I love, because without them they wouldn’t be who they are. But sometimes their worry gets overwhelming, and especially my mother, who gets a bit irrational. Daily, she’s been asking me a dozen questions, and telling me about all the bad dreams and thoughts she’s been having of “what could happen to me.” She worries as if I’m going into a war zone! But I’m not going into a war zone. The place I’m going is a relatively safe and stable community.
And I tell my mom, “I’m aware of the risks, and I’ll be safe. But I want to go. I’m just trying to see places and meet people, do something good, be changed, gain perspective. There’s nothing tying me down, I feel free; this is what I feel moved to do.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Guatemala: First Thoughts
Departure for Guatemala: September 15, 2010.
Length of stay: 11 weeks.
Purpose: The San Lucas Mission. http://www.sanlucasmission.org/
Goal: To gain new perspectives.
Home is soon to be behind (though, I am always happy to return), and another world ahead (and it is that new place, with all its uncertainty, that always draws me to leave in the first place).
But before my acceptance to the Mission, I was required to write a “life experience essay”, in which I am asked to answer some specific questions. Along with this task, some required reading material has been assigned as well, in which I have found a quote to guide my thoughts while I am at the Mission: “If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”
So the reflection begins…
Life Experience Essay
1. What do you believe are the three most important social justice issues?
Three social justice issues of great concern include: hunger, healthcare, and violence against women.
Food and healthcare are such basic human needs, and ones that the world has the resources to meet. It is simply intolerable that people suffer from starvation while other parts of the world are throwing out leftovers, or walking into grocery stores with over 20 kinds of jars of pickles to choose from. And to know that people are dying from illnesses, that would only take someone like me a drive to the pharmacy to cure, is another issue for which we must hold ourselves responsible to solve.
As for violence against women, perhaps it’s valid to say that the countries with oppressive traditions against their women are the ones to be most weary of. For, if they are able to treat people of their own country and culture with such disregard and violence, why would they not treat other countries—and those not related to them by tradition and patriotism—with even greater violence and oppression. And if the children of these women grow up learning that it’s okay to treat people like this, then yet another future generation’s education is founded in violence and injustice. Then this is what they will pass onto their children. And so, it becomes a vicious cycle.
2. What is your concept of global solidarity, and what does it mean to live our faith in solidarity?
Global solidarity begins with thinking about ourselves “intercommunally” instead of internationally. To start seeing the whole world instead of just our “corner” of it. To be a global citizen, instead of just a local citizen. I believe that to begin to understand issues of global solidarity begins with this thought process. We must think of how our commonalities—and even our differences—can bring us together. In this way, we can build relationships and strong communities with similar goals, for the success and health of the whole world, that will keep us united by, and attuned to, the world’s needs (and not just our own).
I believe that to “live our faith in solidarity” means to find our commonality to one another, whether we have the same faith or not. That commonality being defined as those simple truths such as: we all have families and friends; hopes, dreams, and aspirations; fears and uncertainties; and a mind full of thoughts, beliefs, interests, and passions. And, if we do not have the same faith, but “live our faith in solidarity”, then—because we will look for what we have in common—we will learn to respect our differences, and to seek to understand a person—another faith—instead of meeting them with only the intention to change them. “To live our faith in solidarity” is to firstly think of what we have in common, and to see our commonality as what unites and supports us in this life, and our faith.
3. What is your understanding of the concept of subsidiarity?
I believe the subsidiary approach of the San Lucas Mission is a concept based on a humble, open-minded, selfless approach to life and our interactions with others. What can we learn from one another, so to teach to each other?
We must first be a student before we can teach—we must first be a follower before we can lead. There is a rhythm here. And though I am experienced in some ways and able to part knowledge onto others, I am still a stranger to this world, still very young. I am still very much a student (and in fact will always be, for the world cannot be learned in one lifetime).
So to continue with my understanding of the concept of Subsidarity, it is to understand that we are everyday students, and that we must be humble and patient, ready to learn and to understand. And that for the cycle and rhythm of knowledge and wisdom to be acquired and passed on, there must always be a student and a teacher. I come to the Mission as a student.
4. Tell about a challenging situation or conflict caused by diversity, and how you resolved it.
This is a difficult question for me to think of a response to. I’ve saved it for the last one to answer.
People have told me that one of my greatest gifts is that I am able to be at peace with many different people. I hope that is true, for I hope that I am people-oriented and understanding of people and our differences.
That’s not to say this makes life without challenges. For sure I have been presented with challenging experiences in life, but in their effect on me, in earnest, I cannot think of such an experience that was truly significant on the issue of diversity.
Perhaps, all this said, makes me appear arrogant, self-righteous, ignorant, and small-minded. But those are things far from true. And neither am I saying that I’m incapable of experiencing challenges based on diversity.
It’s just that, I believe I’m inexperienced. Even in my travel, work, and academic experiences, I still perceive myself to be inexperienced in this world. I don’t know if I’ve really pushed myself beyond the limits of my “comfort zone.” In a way, I feel like I’ve been sheltered from certain realities, and that I haven’t been exposed to many true (unselfish) challenges.
The “diversity” challenges that some of my experiences might be able to be labeled as, in my mind have not been significant, or challenging. Compromise was easily reached, and there was no inner-struggle that I felt I had to overcome. So I wouldn’t want to try to exaggerate one of those experiences into something that was “challenging.” I think this is true of my experiences, because, yes I may be an understanding person, but also my experiences have been more easy than not, with the truth that the people and cultures that consistently surround me are more similar to me than not.
But as an open-minded, resilient, and compassionate person, I do believe I come prepared to face some of the deeper challenges of diversity, even if I’m not yet experienced in what their true depth may be, and is capable of.
5. Describe your values, and the significant relationships (other than family) that have influenced them.
First, to describe my values, I will use the image of a tattoo. For, if I were to get a tattoo, I would want it to be telling of humanity’s purpose, to be a symbol of my beliefs, and to detail my values.
The image I would choose to have imprinted on my body for life would be of a dove, carrying an olive branch. It is an image of simplicity and beauty.
I would have the tattoo drawn on my right rib cage—where the fifth and final wound was inflicted on Christ—as a representation of the importance of faith in my life. The dove itself, with the olive branch, is a universal symbol of peace and innocence. It is the purity and lack of corruption in innocence that I value. And my value of peace does not only mean the absence of war, but it is a deeper peace that includes my values of gratefulness, forgiveness, and love. The Biblical story of the dove returning to Noah’s ark with an olive branch represents loyalty, another one of my values. And most importantly, the dove also symbolizes the Holy Spirit—God spiritually active, his good deeds done through our hands in this world. And just as people are most important to God, they are a significant value of mine as well.
There have been many people and experiences that have influenced the development of these values. Of course, I have to acknowledge my family for the role they play in my life. They have been most influential in the values I listed above.
Other significant people are: my high school Spanish teacher, Barbara; my high school volleyball coach, Erika; and a professor I had—Magdaleña—while studying in Spain. Barbara was not only my teacher, but has also become a great friend to me. She was the first to inspire my international endeavors, and to inspire my value for being a global citizen. Erika—who I still call Coach—was a consistent role model during my four years in high school. In the way that she coached, treated the team, and communicated with me, I learned to value honesty, hard work, and fierce courage. Magdaleña is a professor who I will always remember. She told me something we all need to hear: “You’ve got it in you.”
Length of stay: 11 weeks.
Purpose: The San Lucas Mission. http://www.sanlucasmission.org/
Goal: To gain new perspectives.
Home is soon to be behind (though, I am always happy to return), and another world ahead (and it is that new place, with all its uncertainty, that always draws me to leave in the first place).
But before my acceptance to the Mission, I was required to write a “life experience essay”, in which I am asked to answer some specific questions. Along with this task, some required reading material has been assigned as well, in which I have found a quote to guide my thoughts while I am at the Mission: “If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”
So the reflection begins…
Life Experience Essay
1. What do you believe are the three most important social justice issues?
Three social justice issues of great concern include: hunger, healthcare, and violence against women.
Food and healthcare are such basic human needs, and ones that the world has the resources to meet. It is simply intolerable that people suffer from starvation while other parts of the world are throwing out leftovers, or walking into grocery stores with over 20 kinds of jars of pickles to choose from. And to know that people are dying from illnesses, that would only take someone like me a drive to the pharmacy to cure, is another issue for which we must hold ourselves responsible to solve.
As for violence against women, perhaps it’s valid to say that the countries with oppressive traditions against their women are the ones to be most weary of. For, if they are able to treat people of their own country and culture with such disregard and violence, why would they not treat other countries—and those not related to them by tradition and patriotism—with even greater violence and oppression. And if the children of these women grow up learning that it’s okay to treat people like this, then yet another future generation’s education is founded in violence and injustice. Then this is what they will pass onto their children. And so, it becomes a vicious cycle.
2. What is your concept of global solidarity, and what does it mean to live our faith in solidarity?
Global solidarity begins with thinking about ourselves “intercommunally” instead of internationally. To start seeing the whole world instead of just our “corner” of it. To be a global citizen, instead of just a local citizen. I believe that to begin to understand issues of global solidarity begins with this thought process. We must think of how our commonalities—and even our differences—can bring us together. In this way, we can build relationships and strong communities with similar goals, for the success and health of the whole world, that will keep us united by, and attuned to, the world’s needs (and not just our own).
I believe that to “live our faith in solidarity” means to find our commonality to one another, whether we have the same faith or not. That commonality being defined as those simple truths such as: we all have families and friends; hopes, dreams, and aspirations; fears and uncertainties; and a mind full of thoughts, beliefs, interests, and passions. And, if we do not have the same faith, but “live our faith in solidarity”, then—because we will look for what we have in common—we will learn to respect our differences, and to seek to understand a person—another faith—instead of meeting them with only the intention to change them. “To live our faith in solidarity” is to firstly think of what we have in common, and to see our commonality as what unites and supports us in this life, and our faith.
3. What is your understanding of the concept of subsidiarity?
I believe the subsidiary approach of the San Lucas Mission is a concept based on a humble, open-minded, selfless approach to life and our interactions with others. What can we learn from one another, so to teach to each other?
We must first be a student before we can teach—we must first be a follower before we can lead. There is a rhythm here. And though I am experienced in some ways and able to part knowledge onto others, I am still a stranger to this world, still very young. I am still very much a student (and in fact will always be, for the world cannot be learned in one lifetime).
So to continue with my understanding of the concept of Subsidarity, it is to understand that we are everyday students, and that we must be humble and patient, ready to learn and to understand. And that for the cycle and rhythm of knowledge and wisdom to be acquired and passed on, there must always be a student and a teacher. I come to the Mission as a student.
4. Tell about a challenging situation or conflict caused by diversity, and how you resolved it.
This is a difficult question for me to think of a response to. I’ve saved it for the last one to answer.
People have told me that one of my greatest gifts is that I am able to be at peace with many different people. I hope that is true, for I hope that I am people-oriented and understanding of people and our differences.
That’s not to say this makes life without challenges. For sure I have been presented with challenging experiences in life, but in their effect on me, in earnest, I cannot think of such an experience that was truly significant on the issue of diversity.
Perhaps, all this said, makes me appear arrogant, self-righteous, ignorant, and small-minded. But those are things far from true. And neither am I saying that I’m incapable of experiencing challenges based on diversity.
It’s just that, I believe I’m inexperienced. Even in my travel, work, and academic experiences, I still perceive myself to be inexperienced in this world. I don’t know if I’ve really pushed myself beyond the limits of my “comfort zone.” In a way, I feel like I’ve been sheltered from certain realities, and that I haven’t been exposed to many true (unselfish) challenges.
The “diversity” challenges that some of my experiences might be able to be labeled as, in my mind have not been significant, or challenging. Compromise was easily reached, and there was no inner-struggle that I felt I had to overcome. So I wouldn’t want to try to exaggerate one of those experiences into something that was “challenging.” I think this is true of my experiences, because, yes I may be an understanding person, but also my experiences have been more easy than not, with the truth that the people and cultures that consistently surround me are more similar to me than not.
But as an open-minded, resilient, and compassionate person, I do believe I come prepared to face some of the deeper challenges of diversity, even if I’m not yet experienced in what their true depth may be, and is capable of.
5. Describe your values, and the significant relationships (other than family) that have influenced them.
First, to describe my values, I will use the image of a tattoo. For, if I were to get a tattoo, I would want it to be telling of humanity’s purpose, to be a symbol of my beliefs, and to detail my values.
The image I would choose to have imprinted on my body for life would be of a dove, carrying an olive branch. It is an image of simplicity and beauty.
I would have the tattoo drawn on my right rib cage—where the fifth and final wound was inflicted on Christ—as a representation of the importance of faith in my life. The dove itself, with the olive branch, is a universal symbol of peace and innocence. It is the purity and lack of corruption in innocence that I value. And my value of peace does not only mean the absence of war, but it is a deeper peace that includes my values of gratefulness, forgiveness, and love. The Biblical story of the dove returning to Noah’s ark with an olive branch represents loyalty, another one of my values. And most importantly, the dove also symbolizes the Holy Spirit—God spiritually active, his good deeds done through our hands in this world. And just as people are most important to God, they are a significant value of mine as well.
There have been many people and experiences that have influenced the development of these values. Of course, I have to acknowledge my family for the role they play in my life. They have been most influential in the values I listed above.
Other significant people are: my high school Spanish teacher, Barbara; my high school volleyball coach, Erika; and a professor I had—Magdaleña—while studying in Spain. Barbara was not only my teacher, but has also become a great friend to me. She was the first to inspire my international endeavors, and to inspire my value for being a global citizen. Erika—who I still call Coach—was a consistent role model during my four years in high school. In the way that she coached, treated the team, and communicated with me, I learned to value honesty, hard work, and fierce courage. Magdaleña is a professor who I will always remember. She told me something we all need to hear: “You’ve got it in you.”
To Be Consumed
Thoughts from a sleepless night…
May you find yourself at liberty not only to nurture what you’ve become, but also to continue to form new aspects of yourself. For to have this kind of freedom, surely is a gift. But do not waste this freedom—this ability to be multifaceted—by the consumption of only one aspect of yourself. The result will only do to squander that said aspect, and to compromise you as a whole person.
As C.S. Lewis rightly said, “The worst thing that we can do for our self is to take any one impulse, and set it up as the one aspect of our nature that we follow at all costs.”
In his book, East of Eden, John Steinbeck also wrote of our obsessions and impulses, and of what sometimes is the duty of friends to free each other from such consuming thoughts.
Samuel said satirically, “It’s my duty to take this thing of yours and kick it in the face, then raise it up and spread slime on it thick enough to blot out its dangerous light…. I should hold it up to you muck-covered and show you its dirt and danger. I should warn you to look closer until you can see how ugly it really is. I should ask you to think of inconstancy and give you examples. I should give you Othello’s handkerchief. Oh, I know I should. And I should straighten you out of your tangled thoughts, and show you that the impulse is gray as lead and rotten as a dead cow in wet weather. If I did my duty well, I could give you back your old life and feel good about it, and welcome you back… It is the duty of a friend. I had a friend who did the duty once for me.”
However, the reality is that we probably already have been, and will continue to be consumed in many ways in life. That is an unavoidable part of our humanity. But may we recognize these impulses and obsessions, and be prepared to battle them bravely. So that we may nurture all formed and potential aspects of whom we are, and could be.
Interpret these words—as you will—to your own consumptions…
When it comes…
What will it do?
Rush through my veins?
Burst my transparent walls?
Exist in my heart?
Pound heavy against my life?
Shiver upon my skin?
Exploit my vulnerability?
When it comes…
How will it arrive?
Without warning?
Already a part of me,
Before I could decide?
Or will it creep slowly?
Will I sense it, and
Have time and strength
To fight it?
When it comes…
What will it be?
My life?
My death?
All that I see?
All that I breathe?
But why should it become
Anymore than what it is?
A burden it has no right to be.
When it comes…
Will it take over?
Will it be my only?
My everything?
Does it have to be my obsession?
Could I be so consumed?
So distracted from all else?
A prisoner of my own passions?
Unchain me!
Please! I pray.
Do not let it alter
My life all together.
Please! I pray.
Let me escape
From this wicked parasite.
Please! I pray.
Let me be.
LET ME BE!
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